When a married couple decides to separate in order to free themselves from a failed marriage, mediation is a good first step to consider. The decision made, it is important for you to understand how to prepare for divorce mediation so that you can approach the process with the right mindset. Keeping yourself informed allows you to start the mediation process with the right foot forward. It also lets you and your spouse fast track the process and arrive at a conclusion as speedily as possible, thus reducing the mental and physical strain. Do keep in mind that mediation is often the significantly cheaper alternative to long drawn court proceedings.

Understand What Mediation Can Do For You

Statistics show that [22% of marriages dissolve] by the time the relationship touches the five- year mark. By the time the marriage reaches the 20 year mark, 53% of marriages have unraveled. When a marriage is on the rocks, it is natural for both spouses to look for various ways and means to find the most seamless way out.

It often happens that one partner moots the idea of mediation while the other is simply cooperating with the suggestion. If your soon to be ex- spouse has pushed for mediation, then you should equip yourself with the basics. Learn what the process involves and what you should expect as the outcome. Knowing this helps you understand how to prepare for divorce mediation as well as gives you the chance to represent yourself and your perspective effectively at these meetings. Here are some points you should note about divorce mediation:

• The Colorado Judicial Bench defines divorce mediation as a voluntary process undertaken by both partners in the marriage.
• A neutral third party helps you and your spouse resolve your differences and arrive at mutually agreeable terms.
• Mediation is a time for you both to communicate, with a third party helping you in this process.
• The premise of the mediation process is that it is you both are in the best position to resolve the issues that have cropped up between you.
• The mediator cannot legally impose any decision upon you or your spouse. Remember, this is a wholly voluntary coming together of you both to find solutions that are agreeable to both.
• Any agreement that you arrive upon at the conclusion of the mediation process is enforceable by law if you both have signed off on such a document.
• Also keep in mind these points that underline why a mediation is in your best interests. Knowing this shows you why cooperating during this process is going to be helpful in arriving at a solution that works for you in the best possible way.
• You are in control throughout the mediation process. This means that you can state exactly what your needs are and why and expect your spouse to hear you out.
• You get to see things from your spouse’s perspective too, which may help you understand them better. This can help you decide the areas where you are willing to compromise so that solutions may be arrived at quickly.
• You have a neutral third party overseeing the proceedings and giving you objective views. This helps both of you see things without prejudice.
• Since you are both deeply involved in the proceedings in every way and in complete control, the chances that you will be fully satisfied with the solution are much higher.

A court battle is hard on you emotionally and physically. Add to that other factors such as:

• the huge costs associated with legal battles
• the possible loss of reputation if the case takes an ugly turn
• the stress that a long drawn conflict may impose upon you
• the plight of children caught in such battles
• the delay in arriving at closure

If you have young children, then mediation is an especially beneficial way to adopt if you are aware that your marriage is no longer sustainable. Studies show children who have witnessed a divorce exhibit more behavioral problems. However, this does not mean that you continue to stay in a failed marriage under the assumption that it is better for your children to not witness a divorce. On the contrary, as per the American Psychological Association, children suffer severely when they are with parents who have serious marital issues.

When you feel that divorce is inevitable, it is necessary to minimize the impact of such separation upon the children. One effective way to keep them away from a vicious divorce battle is to amicably resolve differences. Mediation helps immensely in this. This also highlights the importance of approaching mediation with an open mind, understanding that you are doing this as much for the well- being of your children as yourself.

How To Prepare For Divorce Mediation

The very first step is to hire the right experts for your mediation. The expert must be someone you can trust to give objective advice keeping in mind the law of the land. You should also feel comfortable sharing with them the deeply sensitive and personal issues that may have led to the breakdown of the marriage. This means an empathetic individual who understands the traumatic nature of a divorce proceedings can be a valuable ally. A professional with the background, training and experience in dispute resolution is the right choice and you will find experts with all of these credentials at Conscious Family Firm.

When you hire our experienced divorce mediation professionals, you are given the right guidance about what you need for your first mediation session. Remember that it usually takes multiple sessions before you can arrive at a mutually agreeable conclusion. You can reduce the number of these sessions and hence the cost by preparing beforehand and arriving at the session fully equipped.

Here is what you must do to prepare yourself for your mediation sessions:

1) Be prepared to communicate calmly and clearly:

One of the main goals of divorce mediation is to arrive at a mutually agreeable set of terms that will underpin your separation. Your mediator focuses on understanding both your needs and facilitating an open dialogue, if possible. This is done so that both parties can clearly state their issues and thus arrive at a fair agreement of various aspects. On your part, you should go to the sessions prepared to openly communicate your needs and interests along with reasons for why they are fair.

You may get provoked into an argument if your spouse starts blaming you for everything. Prepare beforehand for this so you can deal with such outbursts without losing your cool. Remember that it is in your best interests to stay calm and focused on the outcome.

2) List out your interests:

A critical step is to take an objective and realistic look at what your interest and needs are from the divorce process. The idea of mediation is also to help you both arrive at an agreement on how to manage the practical aspects of separation. Make a detailed list of what you wish to get and what you are willing to compromise. It is important to make this list in the order of your priorities. For example, if you will NOT give up your right to spend equal time with the kids, that goes on top of the list. Be reasonable while making your list and do not get caught up in power play, competing with your spouse. Mediation gives you and your spouse great control over your future, post divorce, and this is the first step to leveraging this advantage.

3) Attend a parent education program:

Divorce leaves a lasting adverse impact on the children and this is perhaps the worst fall out of the separation. As responsible parents, it is important for you both to put the interests of the children first and foremost when you approach divorce mediation. Parent education programs help immensely in showing you what you can do to spare the child the worst of these events. It will also help you (and your spouse, if willing to attend) agree upon terms that are most conducive with respect to the child. The learning from such a program helps you adopt the right stance about the children during your mediation.

4) Prep for the voluntary financial disclosure:

While the mediator cannot force you to divulge your financial information in entirety, such voluntary disclosure is best for you both. If your divorce transitions into a court battle, you have to face the formal legal discovery process that is complex, long winded and expensive.

The mediator can guide you on what you should have at hand during the mediation session. Typically, you will need a statement of:

• Your assets (bank accounts, investments, immovable assets, others)
• Your liabilities/ debts (credit cards, loans, others)
• Your income (salary and others) Gather all the documents as outlined by the mediator before you head for the session. This lets you quickly establish your financial status and move on towards finding an equitable distribution of the same between you and your spouse.

5) Other paperwork that you need:

Apart from statements to verify your financial information, you also need some other paperwork at hand:

• Certified marriage certificate copy
• Copy of any prenuptial agreements
• W2/ 1099

You can also carry any other documents that you think will help establish your side of the affairs during mediation. Court filings pertaining to your marriage or similar papers are a good example.

6) Ask for an initial private session if you prefer:

Typically, the mediator plans a joint session for both spouses to facilitate a dialogue that can resolve the issues quickly. However, in deeply contentious marriages or those with domestic abuse involved, this may be a very difficult thing to face. Evaluate if a private session will be beneficial for you. If yes, then talk to the mediator and arrange for the same. It is NOT mandatory for you to start the mediation with your spouse in attendance. You can discuss this with your lawyer and come to a conclusion too. In fact, before and during the mediation process, you are free to discuss things with other professionals. Talk to financial experts, tax experts and others so that you can understand more accurately where your interests lie.

The Colorado Judicial Bench suggests listing out the following points in a formal statement before you arrive for your divorce mediation:

• Which are the issues you hope to find resolutions for
• What is your preference in terms of solutions for these issues
• What is, in your view, the need of your spouse in these matters

This statement gives you a good starting point for the discussions. It saves time and also ensures that you can start with laser focus on the matters that need resolution.

Work With The Mediators At Conscious Family Firm In Colorado Today!

If you have decided to go in for divorce mediation with the help of an expert from Conscious Family Firm, you both have already taken a huge step forward towards an amicable divorce. The main aim of the mediation is to keep hostilities to a minimum so that post- divorce you can still have a working relationship with the ex- spouse. This helps immensely if children are involved and you share custody.

Focus on open communication with your spouse with the help of your Conscious Family Firm mediator and be ready to keep an open mind while hearing your spouse’s side too. The chances that you can arrive at an agreement about the divorce terms is far higher then. Also, this makes the whole separation process faster, less expensive and less stressful for you, which is a great advantage. We will also guide you in terms of the right preparation with respect to documents, questions as well as so you have complete control of the process right from the beginning. Overall, we help you achieve the goal of protecting your interests in a fair and just way without provoking more hostility with your soon to be ex-spouse.